“Storks”

LOUISA : 1 STAR


LOUISA SAYS:

The quirky and original story idea behind the new animated film “Storks” should’ve made this family friendly movie soar. Instead, it never really gets off the ground. The end product delivers a movie that’s not very creative, not any fun, and not any good.

After an unfortunate mishap at the baby factory caused storks to give up on the baby delivering game years ago, the birds now deliver consumer packages instead of infants. Junior (Andy Samberg) is the top delivery stork at Cornerstore.com and is on the fast track to become the new boss. When Junior’s human friend Orphan Tulip (Katie Crown) accidentally activates the baby making machine and creates a little girl, the pair scramble to deliver the kid to her new family before angry CEO Hunter (Kelsey Grammer) finds out.

The story sounds charming and original, and it is. That’s not the problem. The real issue stems from the dreadful script and god-awful dialogue. The bright and peppy visuals can’t take away from the ridiculous, overly talky nonsensical ramblings, poor direction, and overall lazy filmmaking.

The movie is just plain dumb too. It has something that’s even more stupid than the truck driving octopus from this year’s “Finding Dory“: a pack of wolves that can join together to create everything from a bridge to a working submarine to an airplane.

Everything about the movie feels awkward and uncomfortable, from the lackluster voice talent to the unlovable and off-putting characters. Pigeon Toady (Stephen Kramer Glickman) is one of the ugliest and most annoying animated characters in recent memory, and Jennifer Aniston should never be hired to voice an animated character ever again. Like never ever. Her emotionless monotone as mom Sarah is proof that she has no business doing vocals. Thank goodness for Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key as a pair of over-excited wolves. If not for them, I probably would’ve walked out.

Warner Animation Group is competent enough at creating pleasantly colorful animation, but even their artists can’t save this bummer of a movie. Your kids deserve better.


Matt was unavailable for review.

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