There isn’t much to say about “My Little Pony: The Movie,” an innocuous, candy-colored feature length animated film with a saccharine message of friendship and anti-bullying. If you’re in the target audience for this one, then you already know it.
The humorless movie is nearly two hours long and features deflated, flat animation that feels more like a cheap and generic Saturday morning cartoon than something deserving of a theatrical release. There’s barely enough plot for a 10 minute short, but no matter: I couldn’t get engaged with the story because, let’s face facts, the ponies are just plain ugly.
The voice performances are much better than expected, with an amusing, cackling turn from Liev Schreiber as an evil henchman, Emily Blunt as the evil pony Tempest Shadow, and Kristin Chenoweth, who is the perfect choice for Princess Skystar, a coy, eager and overly excited, super annoying pony. If you already think listening to her speak is like hearing nails on a chalkboard, then this ear-piercing squeal of a performance will haunt your dreams for years to come.
There are some enjoyable original songs and cute musical numbers (being sung by creepy, doe-eyed, pastel colored ponies) that thankfully keep things moving along — until the whole thing turns into one giant commercial for a new single by popstar Sia.
Bored adults will most likely compare this romp of nightmarish merriment with an acid trip gone wrong. I simply don’t know why this movie exists.