“Moonfall”

“Moonfall” isn’t only the worst movie I’ve seen so far in 2022, it’s one of the worst disaster movies I’ve ever had to sit through. This is a low point even for director Roland Emmerich, who already has some pretty lousy entries (“10,000 B.C.,” “Independence Day: Resurgence,” “2012”) in his less-than-stellar cinematic resume.

Go ahead and get that Razzie award ready for next season, this one is going to be tough to beat.

When a mysterious AI force knocks the moon out of its orbit, Earth’s very existence is threatened. Gravity is out of whack on the planet, causing general calamity to the humans who call it home. Rising seas lead to flooding, and bits of flaming space debris rain down across the globe. Everyone is asked to evacuate (but why?).

With an impending collision between the moon and Earth, disgraced astronaut Brian Harper (Patrick Wilson) is contacted by his former colleague and current NASA executive Jocinda Fowler (Halle Berry) to help fly a decommissioned space shuttle into space to set off a bomb and knock the moon back into its rightful orbit.

It gets even more loony from there. Throw in “Doctor” K.C. Houseman (John Bradley), a conspiracy theorist who believes the moon is a hollow construct made out of constantly moving parts. Of course he runs to NASA with his stolen data, nobody listens, and his crazy beliefs turn out to be true. The film feels like a celebration of conspiracy theorists when it’s probably not the best time to be singing the praises of folks on the fringe.

The script is poorly written and stupid, but not in a good way. A trio of writers give us gems like this exchange between Houseman and Harper:

“Are we dead?”

“No, we’re just inside the moon.”

The acting is atrocious from a cast that deserves better, and the only thing worse than the performances are the murky special effects that have the polish of a college kid who failed his first-year CGI animation class.

Disaster movies are supposed to be fun and silly, but “Moonfall” is too far gone to be enjoyable. This is a total turkey.

By: Louisa Moore

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