“The Package”



“The Package” may very well be the “Citizen Kane” of penis movies. The raunchy teen comedy about a group of friends on a spring break camping trip gone wrong is insanely watchable and full of outrageous, silly humor. I had fun watching this Netflix original movie, even if it is mostly disposable entertainment.

Horny high school buddies Sean (Daniel Doheny), Jeremy (Eduardo Franco), and Donnie (Luke Spencer Roberts) couldn’t be more different, but their friendship is one that works. Preparing for a weekend filled with booze and general bromance debauchery, their plans are put in a state of disarray when they learn Jeremy’s twin sister Becky (Geraldine Viswanathan) and her bestie Sarah (Sadie Calvano) plan to tag along. Just when the sexual tension starts to simmer in the woods, Jeremy shows off with his new switchblade and accidentally slices off his wiener. The rest of the movie is a race against the clock to find and deliver the missing member to the surgeons at the hospital.

The cast is decidedly comprised of unknown C-list actors (with the exception of Viswanathan and her now-signature deadpan delivery) but they each hold their own here. They’re believable as friends and they play well off each other. The script is basic but manages to make the most of a simple premise.

There are some very funny, inspired bits of humor and nearly every gag is played to the max. There aren’t many missed chances at wisecracks or pratfalls. It’s not sophisticated by any means, but if you enjoy a good d*ck joke that’s taken to the extreme, then this one will be right up your alley.

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