“Max Steel”

LOUISA: MATT:

LOUISA SAYS:

Wait, do you hear that? It’s the sound of the careers of Maria Bello and Andy Garcia being flushed down the Hollywood toilet. Remember that time when Bello was respected as an indie thespian? Yeah, me too. How about Garcia? (Well, okay, maybe not). But you can rest assured that “Max Steel” securely thrusts the nail into the career coffin of these two.

In this non-starter of a superhero action franchise, teenager Max (Ben Winchell) has moved back to his childhood home with his widowed mom Molly (Bello) at the insistence of sinister looking Miles (Garcia). Miles drives a vintage Porsche and likes to sneer a lot, making it super easy to guess that — newsflash — he’s the bad guy! Max soon discovers that he holds the galaxy’s most powerful energy and evil red-eyed enemy clouds are trying to steal it from him. Are you laughing yet? Not to worry, you soon will be. Thank goodness there’s Steel, a cheesy animated alien who becomes Max’s protector, confidant and sidekick.

This movie is based on a Mattel toy (one that nobody remembers) from the 1990s. The film centers around a simplistic, hokey plot and is so poorly written that the best line in the film (delivered by Max) is, and I quote: “He’s risking his life to save the Earth, just like us!” Yes, this made me erupt with laughter. I’d like to tell you more about the storyline but I’m not quite sure what the heck was going on. The film is an odd hybrid of “Twister” and “Iron Man,” and it’s stupidly confusing all around.

The special effects are completely lousy, with most of them looking like a cheesy attempt at really, really, really bad 3D. It’s too serious to be campy and too stupid to become a cult classic. The major problem with the film is that it’s far too dorky to appeal to teens yet much too boring for younger kids. Who is the audience for this? Why was this movie released in theaters?

“Max Steel” isn’t unwatchable — but it damn near comes close.

MATT SAYS:

Apparently there is some children’s toy called “Max Steel.” For some reason, some film executive somewhere thought that it would be a good idea to make a movie about this toy. It’s awful.

Max McGrath (Ben Winchell) is a kid whose father died when he was young. Upon moving with his mom, Molly (Maria Bello) back to his childhood home, Max finds that he has the ability to manipulate power. It’s not until he meets up with the alien steel (voiced by Josh Brener) that Max is able to understand and harness his abilities. When Max and Steel come together, they can create an “Iron Man”-like super suit. And together, they are known as (wait for it)… Max Steel!

“Max Steel” is a silly (but not in a good way) with a stupid plot that makes zero sense. Upon meeting Dr. Miles Edwards (Andy Garcia) it’s readily apparent to all that he’s the bad guy and that he will want Max’s power to do… something. Whatever. This movie really isn’t any good and it’s not worth your (or your kids’) time.