It’s not a good sign when all you think about while watching a movie is that someone else has already done it far, far better (see “Willy’s Wonderland“), but I was nearly bored to death by the dreadful misfire “Five Nights at Freddy’s.” Based on the popular 2014 survival horror game, the film takes a killer premise and completely squanders it in one of the most disappointing genre efforts of the year.
Security guard Mike (Josh Hutcherson) is troubled by a traumatic event in his past, when his little brother was abducted and murdered by an unknown psychopath. Now the guardian for his younger sister Abby (Piper Rubio), Mike is afraid of losing custody after he’s fired yet again from another job. Desperate for employment, he accepts a sketchy position as the overnight guard for an abandoned family theme restaurant called Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. It only takes one night on the job for Mike to realize that something isn’t quite right, especially when the four animatronic mascots come alive and start murdering people. With the help of local police officer Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail), he learns that his new gig isn’t going to be the cakewalk he had hoped.
It’s a supernatural story that toys with the dark side, and the script tries unsuccessfully to build a compelling mythology around possessed animatronics and grisly child murders. The film features too much long-winded and drawn out exposition that significantly slows things down, and the backstory is thin and anchored by uninteresting and unlikable characters. The worst part is that the writers take the story in a direction that’s far too serious and sincere, which sucks every last drop of fun right out of the premise.
The film isn’t silly enough, campy enough, or scary enough to leave any lasting impact. It takes itself too seriously, and it’s lacking the humor it so desperately needs. Even worse, it’s clear the movie was scrubbed and sanitized to a fault in order to score a PG-13 rating. There’s not a lot of horror to be found when it’s as tame as this.
Genre fans are going to leave “Five Nights at Freddy’s” sorely disappointed, and I’d steer clear unless you are a fan of the original game (I am not a gamer, so I’m not sure if this dreadful movie will even satisfy diehards).
By: Louisa Moore
Screen Zealots 
You’re a boomer
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Insults aside, the movie is terrible and one of the worst of the year. Glad it worked for you, “Slayer.”
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And you are cancer so shut your filthy fucking mouth, suck a dick and watch your child die of a terrible disease you pointless piece of shit. Who the fuck are you motherfuckers coming out of the woodwork just to troll? Please, you basement dwelling fucking cancers just die. Please have your infant baby die in your arms
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Tom, mate, you gotta cool it. Dude just left a dumb comment on a movie review they didn’t agree with. No need to wish death upon their newborns.
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You’re a boomer that movie was dope as shit
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Ah, have to love comments like these. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your eloquent opinion.
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shocking: movie critic doesn’t like video game movie. more news at 7
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I can tell you aren’t a regular reader, or you’d know that this simply is an untrue statement. I’ve loved many movies based off a video game, including “Gran Turismo,” “Tomb Raider,” “Jumanji,” “Resident Evil,” and “Uncharted,” just to name a few. “Five Nights at Freddy’s” is not a good movie. I wish the filmmakers had tried hard to make something actually high quality and enjoyable.
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jumanji was actual ass, tells me all i need to know. i bet you liked cuties lol
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I did not. But to say I never liked any video game movies was false.
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I bet your parents raped you as a child
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