“47 Meters Down: Uncaged”

LOUISA:  1.5 STARS


LOUISA SAYS:

Folks love movies about killer sharks, and “47 Meters Down Uncaged,” the lame sequel to the 2017 moneymaker “47 Meters Down,” is as forgettable as they come. It’s the type of mild horror film that’s suitable for a 7th grade sleepover, a movie riddled with super cheap jump scares and questionable screenwriting. To keep its PG-13 rating, the kill scenes are comprised of close-up shots of a shark’s mouth and then a lot of kicking, screaming, and red dye in the water.

Four teenage girls (Corinne Foxx, Sistine Stallone, Sophie Nélisse, and Brianne Tju) decide to go cave diving to explore a submerged Mayan city. Soon they encounter a terrifying shark who decides they’re ripe for the hunting. As their air tanks begin to empty, the group of friends must navigate the twisty tunnels and use their wits to escape a certain death.

It’s another dumb plot that’ll make you question the characters. Don’t these people watch movies? When someone suggests a glass bottom shark tour or cave diving in a remote location where nobody knows where you are, you need to question them ASAP. It’s never a good idea, especially when your dad (John Corbett) just found a gigantic tooth that likely belongs to a gargantuan Great White shark.

The performances are as you’d expect, but most of the cast is quite good at screaming and acting scared. It’s hard to keep track of who’s who, because the actors are hidden behind heavy scuba equipment and their faces are partially obscured by massive masks. No matter, they’re all the same as soon as the big, scary shark crunches them in half as a snack.

The “cinematography” (quotation marks used on purpose) is drab and murky, with flashlights used to light many of the scenes. In fact, the majority of the movie is spent with the camera following behind the teenage girls as they swim around in dimly lit caves. It’s creepy, but only because you can’t see what the hell is going on because it’s more important to hide the lame special effects.

The end result is mediocre, even for a mindless throwaway movie.

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