“The Dating Game”

Eye-opening documentary “The Dating Game” is a look at the world of dating in modern China, where the gender imbalance caused by the country’s one-child policy has created a whole new set of challenges for men trying to find love.

The film follows three bachelors as they participate in an intense seven-day dating camp led by Hao, one of China’s most sought-after relationship coaches. It sounds amusing that these men would seek out an educational program in the hopes of attracting a partner, but their desire for self-improvement (and societal pressure) makes them desperate for success. In an oddly appropriate nod to today’s superficial social media age, Hao’s approach is based on “strategic deception,” which focuses on surface-level changes like fashion makeovers and boosting social status.

The film isn’t really a deep dive into the psychological aspects of dating, but it shines a light on the external pressures and cultural expectations that shape the dating experience. With 30 million more men than women in the country, finding true love certainly can’t be easy. In fact, you’re lucky if you can find someone to date at all. Hao teaches these heterosexual guys to create somewhat misleading and almost fake personas until they can find a woman who takes the bait, if you will.

On the flip side, Hao’s wife Wen, who is also a dating coach, takes a contrasting approach. Where he places the greatest importance on more superficial things like updating your wardrobe and walking with more confidence, she emphasizes self-esteem and authenticity. It’s interesting to see two relationship experts at odds with their methods, and their big difference in philosophy adds some tension to their story.

Director Violet Du Feng does a great job of balancing humor with deeper themes as she offers a window into a society where loneliness and social desirability are ever-present concerns. The personal stories of the bachelors add heart to the documentary, especially when the film shows their vulnerabilities and hopes of finding love despite the odds stacked against them.

Thoughtful, funny, and a little sad, “The Dating Game” offers a compelling look at the lengths people will go to in their quest for love. Whether it’s worth adopting Hao’s methods is something that is left to debate, but watching these men try to reinvent themselves is surprisingly interesting.

By: Louisa Moore